#Sex – ka jingiakren bad jingphylliew jingmut

Ka Thma U Rangli-Juki (TUR) ka long kawei na ki kynhun kaba iakhun na ka bynta ka hok jong ki kynthei bad khynnah.

Kawei kaba ka la leh ka long ban pynmih kawei ka Video halor ka phang “jingiamynjur lang” lane ka “Consent” ha shwa ban pyni jingieid iwei ia iwei khamtam haba ia dei bad ka jinglong shi samla lane ‘sexual activity’. La sngew donkam ban pynmih ia kane ka video namar ba la jur palat ka jingleh jubor bad ka jingbymkhein kor ia ka jingmynjur jong ki kynthei.

Nyngkong eh nga kwah ban pynsngew ba ka jingiakhun hi ka long ban pyrshah ia ka jingshah thombor ki kynthei bad khynnah kaba lah jyllei palat ha jylla jong ngi – ka jylla kaba ngi ju sngewtynnad ban ong ba ka long ka jylla ba don burom ba don akor. Hynrei haba ngi peit pat iaka jingshisha ngi iohi ba ngi la kylla long ka jylla khyllah aiu re.

Ka jingiakhun kam dei ban dei shuh tang jong ki seng hynrei ka dei ban don ka jingiatip lem bad jingiasngew lem jong baroh kaba kynthup ia ki shnong ki thaw, ki samla samhoi, ki kynthei bad rangbah, ki balang niam bapher bapher bad ia ki thliew ïing ha baroh ki dong kane ka jylla. Kane ka jingiakhun kala donkam ia ka jingkyrshan jong baroh lang ban pynduh pyndam syndonia kane ka jingsniew na ka jylla ka jong ngi.

Ngi sngewthuh ba ngin dang hap iakhun pyrshah bun ki kam awria ba jia ia ki kynthei bad ki khynnah, hynrei kum i jingsdang barit, ka kynhun TUR ka la pynmih ia kane ka video halor ka phang ‘Consent’. Kaba sngew phylla ka long ba bun pade ki ong pynban ba ka kynhun TUR ka pynshlur ia ki kam shi samla shwa ban iathoh lane ka ‘premarital sex’ lane ‘casual sex’. Kane ka jingpyrkhat ka long kaba bakla bad ka dei tang ka jingkhim jingmut jong ki katto katne.

Ka video hi ka pynshai ba donkam ia ka ‘jingmynjur lang’ bad haba ong ‘Em’ kamut hi ruh ‘Em’ bad kaei kaei kaba iaid lait na kata ka la long ka jingbatbor lane ‘Rape’.

Ha ka pyrthei shai mynta, kam long shuh ban shu sngap matlah ia kane ka issue/subject ba ka “Sex” hi ka la long kaei kaei kaba hap ban da sngewthuh bad pyrkhat janai bha namar ka don jingkthah ym tang ia ka met lane ‘physical’ hynrei kaba nga kham khuslai kadei ka ‘emotional bad psychological effect’ jong ka.

Ka rukom pyrkhat shaphang ka sex hapdeng ki khynnah kynthei bad shynrang ruh ka bun ki jingiapher bad kumno ngi dei bad kren bad pynsgewthuh ia ki khynnah shaphang jong kane ka subject ruh ka long kaba donkam bha.

Ha ka kam jong nga, kata kaba leh Counselling lane ka jingiasyllok bad ba bun ki jait briew – kynthei bad shynrang, nga shem ba ym don uwei ne kawei ruh ki bym khia jingmut hadien ba kila ia shim ia kum kane ka rai (khamtam lada ki dei ki samla kiba dang sdang ka jinglong rangbah ka jong ki).

Bunsien haba don ki jingiakren lane jingiaphylliew jingmut (Awareness, panel discussions etc) halor kane ka subject- ‘Sex’ – khamtam haba iadei ba ki khynnah samla, ka jingiakren ka noh bha sha ka jingkthah ka jong ka ia ka met ka phad ki briew (Physical) kum ka jingarmet bad ki ñiañgjingpang kum ka HIV/AIDS bad kiwei.

Kane ka wanlam ia ka jingma kaba khraw namar ba ka jingktah jong ka ia ka jingmut jingpyrkhat (emotional-psychological consequence) khamtam haba iadei bad ka jingiapoi briew ba tang shipor (temporary sexual relationship) ka long ba shyrkhei shisha.

Hynrei lada ki samla ki tip shai ia kiei kiba ap ia ki haba ki shim ia kane ka sein jam ki lah ban pyrkhat janai ia kaei ba ki dei ne kim dei ban leh. Da kaba leh kumne ki lah ban kiar na ka jingkyrkieh ban shim kum kata ka rai kaba lah ban kthah ia ka jingim jong ki khamtam bad ka ‘emotional bad psychological health’ ka jong ki.

Hooid kane kam mut ba ka physical effect ia ka met jong ki kum ka jingarmet, ki ñiañgjingpang ei ei kim donkam ban tip hynrei kita ruh ki dei kiei kiei kiba lah ban pynkylla bak la bak ia ka jingim ka jong ki.

Ki niangjingpang lane ki Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) ki long kiei kiei kiba sngew shyrkhei shisha bad ka jingtreikam ka jong ki ka long kaba sted bad ba pynthut shisha ia ka jingim briew wat haduh ba ki lah ban shim noh ia ka jingim briew khlem por. Ki jingiada kum U Condom ki lah ban pynduna ia kum kita ki jingshitom hynrei wat u condom ruh ym lah ban weng lut syndon ia ki jingma. Hooid da kaba pyndonkam tikna ia u condom phi lah ban pynduna ia ka jingarmet lane pregnancy hynrei wat hangta ruh dang don ka por ba um treikam. U condom u lah ban iada ruh na kiba bun ki jait jingpang tangba namar ba ym kah lut ia ka doh met dang don lad ia ki niang jingpang ba kin rung.

Ha ki briew, ka jingiadei arngut ha kane ka liang lane ‘Sex’, ka long kaba phylla shisha na kiwei pat ki jait jingthaw namar ia ngi ki bynriew kam shim dei tang shaphang ka met lane ‘physical’. Ka jingdon bynta ka ‘emotional bad psychological dimension’ ruh ha ka sexual activity ka pynlong pher ia kane na kiwei pat ki jait jingthaw.

Balei mo ka jynjar shisha ban kren bad ban batai ha ki kyntien kiba shai ia ki jingkthah ha ka rukom pyrkhat bad bor pyrkhat (emotional and psychological impact) jong ka sex ha ka jingim jong ngi khamtam haba iadei bad ka ‘pre-marital sex’ lane ‘casual sex’.

Kaba nyngkong eh, kadei ba ngim ju mlien ban iakren bad iatai halor kane ka issue kaba kthah bha ia bun ki samla. Ngim ju iohsngew hi ruh ban don ba kren halor ka jingkthah ia ka bor pyrkhat bad jingsngew (emotional bad psychological aspect) jong ka sex mynno mynno ruh.

Ki kmie ki kpa, ki nonghikai lane mano mano ruh ym ju don ba kloi lane kim poi pyrkhat hi ban iakren halor kine kiei kiei. Kiei kiba ngi iohi lyngba ki TV bad ka internet ruh kam shai ka jingbatai bad kam da don jingpynshai ei ei halor ka phang jong ka ‘emotions bad psychological consequences’ bad bunsien hi ha ki phlim, ha TV bad ha ki kot ei ei ruh ngi ju iohi bad pule hi tang ia kaba sngewtynnad bad ka bym don jingkthah ei ei (positive sexual experiences).

Ki jingiatai bad jingiakren na ka liang ki riewstad ka koit ka khiah ruh ki kren beit tang shaphang ka jingkthah ia ka met ki briew (physical effects) bad ki iaid lait namar ba kim tip hi ruh ia ka jingkthah ia ka bor pyrkhat bad jingsngew (emotional bad psychological aspect) jong ka jingiadei bad ka kam shong lok bad ki jingkthah kiba bud ia ka (sexual activity and consequences).

Hynrei, ha ka kam ka koit ka khiah shane, ia ki kam Counsellor ne Nongiasyllok ruh lah shu thung kulmar khlem da peit ia ka jingtbit jong ki ha ka subject ‘Psychology’ bad kane ka wanlam pynban ia ka jinghikai kaba kulmar bad ba buh jingma pynban.

Kum ban shu ong ruh, ka ‘sex-education’ kaba long ka subject kaba donkam bha ban hikai ha ki skul ruh kam don bad haduh mynta ka jingkylli hi ka long kaei yn hikai bad haduh katno ngi lah ban hikai. Haduh mynta kam pat don ka jingiatai nia kaba pura ban ong ba haduh katno ka jinghikai ia ka Safe Sex kata ban pyndonkam ia kita ki Condom, ki kynja dawai bad ter ter ka don jingmyntoi bad hato ki lah ban pynsuk ia ka mynsiem bad bor pyrkhat jong ki khynnah hadien ba ki pyndonkam ruh.

Ha ka jingiasyllok lane counselling ka jong nga bad ki katto katne ngut ki khynnah samla kiba wanrah ki jingeh ba iadei bad kine ki kam, nga shem hi ba ka jingkthah ia ka bor pyrkhat (psychological consequence) bad ka jingskhem ka bor mynsiem (emotional consequence) ka jur bha bad ka pynthut ym tang ia ka jingiadei para briew hynrei ka pynthut ruh ia ka jingskhem shimet kaba wanlam sa ka jingthut ia ka jingiadei jong ine i briew bad la ka iing ka sem, ka pule puthi bad ka koit ka khiah namar ka wanrah ruh ki jingpang khlieh kum ka depression bad ter ter. Dei hangne kein ba nga sngew lah donkam shisha ban iakren bad iatai bha ia kane ka kam namar kam dei shuh ka por ban shu ia sngap jar bad ai lad ba kan nang pynkulmar ia ka jingmut jingpyrkhat jong kiba bun.

Hadien ba ki arngut hi ki jied ban leh ia kane ka kam, bun sien kim ju pyrkhat lypa ia kaei ka jingktah kaba kan wanlam namar ba ym don nongbatai lane ym don ‘information’ kaba biang na ka bynta jong ki. Namar ba ka la don lypa ka jingpynrem ia kane ka kam ha ka imlang sahlang, bunsien ki ju sngew kumba kila leh ia ka kam kaba bakla palat haduh ba ki long ‘guilty’ bad sngew rem ia kata kaba ki la leh bad kane ka wanlam pat ia ka anxiety lane jingkyndeh ka mynsiem kaba lada ym phikir bha kan kylla pynban sha ka jingpang depression (kaba la shyrkhei bha shane). Bun ki ngop noh ruh ha ki kam awria shuh shuh bad ki kam jingdih buaid ba khlem lah teh lakam bad ka pynjot pynban ia ka jingim jong ki.

Kaba kham sheptieng ruh ka long ba don ki katto katne ki khynnah samla ki bym shim la lah ban teh lakam ia ka jingsngew rem ka jong ki ia kata ka kam kaba ki la leh tat haduh ba ki khein duh dor noh ia la ka jingim ba ki ia pyrshang ruh ban dkhat noh ia la ka jingim tang namar ba khlem don ba batai ia ki bad hikai ia ki kumno ban ialeh (to cope) ia ki jingeh bad ki jingmih (consequence) jong ka jingiadei shi lok (sexual intercourse) bad ruh khlem don ba batai ba kaei kaba ki lah leh kam shim long kaba bakla haduh katta katta.

Nga ngeit ba watla da dei ki briew ba ka niam ka jong ki ka khang kum kata ka jingiadei ha shwa ban iathoh, kam shim la dei pade ka kam ba uta u nongthaw u jong ki u nym lah ban map shuh. Hynrei, ngi hap kyrpad ia kita kiba dei ki nongialam ba kin pynshai halor kane namar ngi ju iohi ba ki la kiar ban pynshai ha kum kine ki jingkylli jong ki samla.

Kumba nga la pynpaw naduh mynne, ka la dei ka por shisha ba baroh ki jait briew khamtam kiba la pyntbit ia lade ha ki jingpule bapher bapher ba kin ia kren, iatai , ia phylliew jingmut lem halor kine ki jait jingkylli ba kthah ia ka imlang sahlang bad ba buh dak jingkylli ia kiba bun ki khun samla ka jylla kiba iaid mynta tang ha ka jingdum namar ba ha iing, ha skul, ha kolej, ha ki iingmane, la shu ia buhrieh bad ia sheptieng ban iakren, iatai bad ia phylliew jingmut halor ka kyntien ‘sex’.

Lah sdang ka jingiakren.

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Roney Lyndem Written by:

Roney Lyndem works as counsellor and organises workers for Thma U Rangli Juki (TUR)

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